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Sunday, 10 June 2012

Sh*t I Tell You To Read!


Did you watch the hilarious TV show  'Bleep My Dad Says' staring the one, the only William Shatner? I hope you did, because it was another fantastic show that was cut from our lives far too soon. Whether you miss it, or 'missed' it... Never Fear! Just buy the books!

Justin Halpern hit the proverbial gold mine one day when he took to Twitter with quotes from his extremely blunt, rude, arrogant albeit 'wise' father. His dad's 'cut the crap-get to the point-don't be a dumb-ass' attitude is beyond entertaining.The tweets became so popular it turned into a TV show and two books 'Sh*t My Dad Says' followed by 'I Suck At Girls'.

Let’s face it, at some point or another, we have all read something in a book that is so hysterical we feel the need to go back and re-read it to someone, anyone who will listen. If you deny ever doing this, you’re a liar. (Shame on you!)
‘Sh*t My Dad Says’ and ‘I Suck At Girls’ are two books that should come with a guarantee that you WILL harass some poor unsuspecting friend or relative with quotes.

Case and point:

 My husband was watching TV one evening after a long day at work. I was curled up on the couch with my Kobo, hysterically laughing and becoming a general pain in the ass for those who wanted to hear the TV.

I kid you not, 'I Suck At Girls' had me laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. His story about his 'luck' (or lack there of) with the ladies, was priceless. I kept jumping up ‘John, JOHN, you have to hear this!!’trying to force him to listen to me and ignore his show.
He (of course) ignored me and waved me off (spoil sport) than turned the volume up on the television. (Don't worry sir, I shall remember this when you are seeking out my 'attentions' later

 My oldest daughter was jumping up and down 'Read it to me, Read it to me!' She was very curious about why I was laughing. Given the nature of the subject matter, I told her unfortunately it was ‘adult only’ but if I came across something she could hear, than I would let her know. (sorry kiddo, maybe when you're older)
Eventually, I was FINALLY able to read one hilarious situation from the book, just to have John just blink and ask  'What the hell are you reading?' before going back to his show.

All that aside, I had ‘I Suck At Girls’ read in matter of hours. The next day, I downloaded ‘Sh*t My Dad Says’, because I just needed to read more. (Yes, I read them in reverse, so what!?)

Again, I couldn’t stop laughing while I quickly finished the book every minute I had. The 'words of wisdom' and life stories Justin Halpern presents are wildly entertaining. There's a story from his life in 'I Suck At Girls' about a picture he drew for a girl as a child, that still has me laughing.

My husband said to me a few days after I completed reading them:

"Are you finished reading your porn?"

 My jaw dropped!

"What porn!!?? I finished Fifty Shades a while ago"

“You know, that porn you read to me the other night. Remember? You couldn't stop laughing about it on the couch”

Yes Justin Halpern, if you ever read this (and I know you wont) my husband thought your book ‘I Suck At Girls’ was porn!! Title suggestion for next book: 'Fifty Shades of Halpern'

My husbands birthday is coming up in a few weeks. Since he isn't a big reader, I'm tempted to at least give him the audio book copy so he can listen on his morning commute. I WILL get him to hear Mr. Halpern's words of wisdom even if I have to tie him to the chair and read every page out loud.

That said, you don't need to be an avid reader to enjoy these books. You just need a great sense of humor!

My recommendation? Read any @#$%^ Justin Halpern writes!

"Listen, I don't want to stifle your creativity, but thing you built there, it looks like a pile of shit" ~ Mr. Halpern on the topic of Legos - 'Sh*t My Dad Says'.

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